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As many of you know, I have bipolar 2 disorder. And, mostly, this means that I deal with pretty deep depression and its subsequent suicidal ideation, as well as anxiety. However, in the last 10 days I have had a completely different experience and thought I’d share.

I have actually been hypomanic. And not just feeling good, but feeling really goooooooodIn this time, I have been able to get a rather large amount of work done. One night, I wrote a chapter, Here/Hears’s By-Laws, its Articles of Incorporation, held a chat on Facebook Messenger, and I’m sure there was more, but I can’t think of it because my mind was moving so fast there was no way I was going to remember it. In fact, my wife and I had a ten minute conversation about what we wanted to wear for some family pictures and, while knowing we had the conversation, I could not remember what I was supposed to wear, what the kids were wearing, where the pictures were to take place, and other necessary details. I almost ruined family pictures and it’s because I just couldn’t keep my brain focused on two things at a time. 

My hypomania also results in sever insomnia. In the ten days, I would go until I’d fall asleep, sleep for about 30 mins, then be right back at it. And, my dreams were just my mind racing. In the ten days, I got about 30 hours of sleep and felt wired the entire time. And that feeling was fantastic. If you’ve never experienced, everything is just easy and no one else is that great. I also maintain a pretty fantastic Messiah complex which convinces me that I can actually save the world. 

But now I’m coming down. And coming down is terrible. I am severely irritable because I can’t move as fast or do as much as I was. Similarly, I don’t feel good. I feel blah. My mind can keep up and that’s not much fun because it doesn’t crank out the ideas (some of my best ideas for my published articles came in the throes of hypomania). I’m back now though. And being back is not much fun. I’ve gone from Tigger to Pooh.